I’ve signed a contract.

It’s with a school in a suburban district on the edge of Seoul. It’s a branch of a very large franchise called “Wonderland.”

Wonderland does not exactly have a sterling reputation. You might even say that they have acquired a reputation for appalling treatment of foreign English teachers! Contract breaches, withholding of pay, and actual physical abuse are all themes associated with the Wonderland company name.

But if you consider that…
a) When there are over 100 branches they can’t ALL be bad
b) The recruiter who placed me there does have a sterling reputation
c) I spoke with a Canadian teacher working there and she said it was fine
d) If I listened to all the hysterical warnings and ridiculous complaints about teaching English in Korea that I heard on the net, I would never even step foot out the front door
e) It’s the only job I’ve been offered in Seoul proper
f) I really wanna go
…then I’m sure you’ll agree that I’d be crazy not to sign with Wonderland!

The lodging they provide is in the actual school building itself, on the fifth floor. I was concerned about the blurring between my personal and work life, but apparently the other teachers also have apartments on the same level. Also fuck it, who cares, if I don’t like it I’ll bail.

The start date is on June 23 (or thereabouts). I’ve already mailed off my diploma, criminal record check etc. to the school. Then they send it back, and I have to either send it to/visit the consulate in Sydney. Then I have a working visa and I’m set to go. Frankly I think we’re pushing it to try and squeeze that into two and a half weeks, but whatever.

The fact that I’m really going (again, pending visa time race issues) keeps washing over me in a sobering tide of sheer terror. I’ll be hanging out with Mike and suddenly think oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, and then it’ll pass and I’ll be brushing my teeth later that night and it’ll come back.

It’s not leaving home or living overseas that bothers me, it’s the concept of teaching kids. I have no business teaching! The idea is completely incomprehensible so I’ve resolved not to worry about it until I’m actually shoved into a classroom and they lock the door behind me.

I was not precisely reassured by Youtube’s suggestion of similar videos after watching one of a typical Wonderland class: