It’s 4:06 AM and I just finished my final essay for the semester, a 3000 word leviathan. The title of this article is a short sample of the delightful, interesting and highly relevant theory I had to stretch out to fit the word limit.

I’m fucking tired of this. I’m tired of philosophy or sociology or cultural theory or whatever you want to call it. I’m tired of sweeping, abstract concepts like “post-modernity” and “cultural conditioning” and “the avant-garde.” I’m tired of Foucault and Baudrillard and Lyotard. I’m tired of intellectual elites who make a career out of spinning simple observations and pointless theories into long, tedious, unnecessarily verbose papers. I’m tired of doing a new unit of this every semester without absorbing a fucking thing. I’m tired of a subject with no real-life application, of a field of study which advances no apparent benefits to the human race other than sneering at each other’s equally useless theories and earning comfortable paychecks from various universities. I’m tired of having this one stupid unit taint an otherwise enjoyable and useful degree.

It’s a core unit, of course. Nobody would take it if it wasn’t, and it would quickly shrivel up and die. The logical conclusion to draw is that it deserves to die.

The Onion ran an article poking fun at this kind of frustrating, pseudo-intellectual gibberish which is inflicted on arts students across the globe. Read it, and understand that they are not exaggerating. This is the weekly bullshit I have had to put up with for two and a half years. Weep for me, and for all who suffer with me.