1:45 AM – Arrive at my sister’s friend’s house to drive her drunken posse of oestrogen to their afterball.
1:55 AM – Pull over on side of freeway so one of her friends can vomit on self, back seat, and emergency stopping lane.
2:10 AM – Arrive at afterball venue, watch drunken high school students (some of whom are two feet taller than me) milling around, stumbling, throwing up.
2:30 AM – Leave afterball venue after meagre amusement of shitfaced teenagers has exhausted itself.
2:50 AM – Arrive home.
3:00 AM – Spend some time with rubber gloves, bucket and sponge cleaning up unexpectedly red vomit from back seat of my dad’s car while Chris holds the torch and laughs.
3:20 AM – Crawl into bed.
7:15 AM – Alarm goes off, get out of bed.
7:50 AM – Leave house to drive Rach to a high school on the rural-urban fringe for her film shoot.
8:40 AM – Arrive at high school at the other end of the hellish Tonkin Highway, which I have had previous early morning adventures on. Wait around in car for rest of film crew to show up.
9:20 AM – Film crew arrives; say goodbye to Rach, drive down steep hills back towards city.
9:30 AM – Mobile phone rings; wobble into other lane at 80 k’s an hour while attempting to dig it out of my pocket.
9:31 AM – Caller is Rach. Film crew’s only camera has shat the bed, shoot is cancelled. Turn around, pick her up, drive home.
10:40 AM – Arrive home, where my sister and her alcohol-soaked friends are sprawled out on living room floor looking like bedraggled harpies.
10:45 AM – Coffee.

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