A federal election was called this weekend. On November 24, John Howard and Kevin Rudd will stride into a sun-drenched arena, the sands stained with the spilt blood of previous competitors. Our burly, masculine heroes will select their weapons, hold them aloft to the ravenous cheers of the crowd, and begin a brutal duel to the death.

Ah, if only.

Anyway, it’s about fucking time. Note that Howard has called the election for the latest date possible while still keeping his promise that it would be “well before Christmas” (even that’s debatable; most retails stores consider the holiday season to begin in September). Presumably this is because he is, secretly and sulkily, admitting to himself that his ass is going to stomped this time round, and he’s trying to prolong his stay in office as long as possible.

Also note that although the election was called on Sunday, electoral writs will be collected on Wednesday, giving citizens who have come of age since the 2004 election a mere three days to register if they haven’t already. They usually have more than a week. I’m sure that’s a wild coincidence completely unrelated to the fact that the under-21 demographic is historically pro-Labor.

In any case, my name has long been sitting on the electoral rolls, because I am a deep well of geekiness in all forms, including politically. Expect a lot of insight over the next few weeks from a teenager who thinks he’s qualified to discuss it but actually failed Political & Legal Studies, has Kevin Rudd in his MySpace Top 8, and who doesn’t give a flying fuck about economic issues because he assumes it basically just runs itself.  Yes, just as soon as I finish this last-minute assignment on James-fucking-Frey, I’ll open the floodgates on all kinds of election-season commentary that I’ll one day look back on and groan.

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